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13 Sep 2020

my life has been going horribly so far

that's a bit of an over exaggeration, but still the past couple weeks have been pretty bad to say the least.

so, here's a list of things that happened:

I lost a friend, I lost another friend, school started existing again, my computer is being a hooligan, I've made so many missed promises, etc. etc.

honestly it's just stupid at this point, if I'm losing friends left and right to the point where they ridicule me and tell me to kill myself, I don't see why they just cant see that. do they not realize I'm generally just a toxic person?

that along with so much other stuff...honestly all this is horrible and i want to get through it as soon as possible.

but i can't. and i never will.

and i don't even think anyone will know how i truly feel, because if i were to just spit it all out it would just be embarrassing to say the least.

NO it is not to the point where i need a therapist. ive just been having a lot of bad stuff happen and i just need some time alone...if only that was true

i still don't need a therapist. that's stupid. i just cant get this stuff out...of...my...head!!!!!

almost reminds me of those strange dreams i had, that have been stuck in my head for a really long time now.

if i get sleep paralysis tonight i wont be surprised tbh,